Consumption of the most unhealthy kind. Consumed by bad love, the type that makes you feel so bad it starts to feel good. Like pressing a bruise, the pain is nice, so you do it again. But what happens when the pain is no longer there and you’re healed? What if you crave one more taste of the illness, just one more touch.

The breezy summer night pricked the hair on her skin.
Though he did not have a physical grip on her any more, his hands still tied the knots in her stomach.

Sonne.

Though the sun doesn’t blaze into our bed,
I am consumed by warmth.
Perchance it is from you?
Your strong figure pressed against mine.
Perchance it is from inside myself…

You’ve always told me I glow when I smile.
 I smile like that when I think of our future.
Your arms around me,
Softly and securely,
Make me smile like that.

We don’t need the sun here.

 

Genesis

I never trusted you from the day
you said “I love you”.
Your Amphisbaena tongue
dripping with the poison of your words.
I am not Eve, nor Adam.

You have no power over me.

Now as our scen…

Now as our scene draws to a close
I reveal my stream of conciousness,
or maybe a case of flared logorrhea.

I am Lucky,
I am unlucky.
I have brought this upon myself.

Words, words, words.
Those that encase me in a tomb.
Words, words, words.
A shovel of dirt is the last gift of kindness
that you will ever impart to me.

Feline.

And I lay there,
silent tears scuttle down my cheeks
my quivering bottom lip draws the yellow eye
of a cat.

I want to speak to it, apologise to it
for I am not her.
I want to speak to it, apologise to it
for she is the cat’s mother.

And I lay there,
knowing her existence
is the lynch pin to my insanity.
And I lay there.
I hate cats.

10 obscure words and their definitions that have been really relevant to me lately.

Kairosclerosis 
n. the moment you realize that you’re currently happy—consciously trying to savor the feeling—which prompts your intellect to identify it, pick it apart and put it in context, where it will slowly dissolve until it’s little more than an aftertaste.

 

Chrysalism 
n. the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled words are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.

Heartworm
n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

 

Anthrodynia
n. a state of exhaustion with how shitty people can be to each other, typically causing a countervailing sense of affection for things that are sincere but not judgmental, are unabashedly joyful, or just are.

moledro
n. a feeling of resonant connection with an author or artist you’ll never meet, who may have lived centuries ago and thousands of miles away but can still get inside your head and leave behind morsels of their experience, like the little piles of stones left by hikers that mark a hidden path through unfamiliar territory.

 

the bends
n. frustration that you’re not enjoying an experience as much as you should, even something you’ve worked for years to attain, which prompts you to plug in various thought combinations to try for anything more than static emotional blankness, as if your heart had been accidentally demagnetized by a surge of expectations.

 

hiybbprqag
n. the feeling that everything original has already been done, that the experiment of human culture long ago filled its petri dish and now just feeds on itself, endlessly crossbreeding old clichés into a radioactive ooze of sadness.

 

adomania
n. the crushing sense that the future is arriving ahead of schedule, that all those years with fanciful names like “2012” are bursting from their hypothetical cages into the arena of the present, furiously bucking the grip of your expectations while you lean and slip in your saddle, one hand reaching for reins, the other waving up high like a schoolkid who finally knows the answer to the question.

 

shorpy
adj. yearning to move into a photo from a hundred years ago, to wade into the blurred-edge sepia haze that hangs in the air between people in hats and petticoats who walk the bare earth, who leer stoically into this dusty and dangerous future, whose battered shoes are anchors locked fast in the fantasy that none of it risks turning out any other way but the way it happened, which is just as well to you because the food’s 100% organic.

 

Mauerbauertraurigkeit
n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.

 

SOURCE: www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com